It’s the mirror again, clinging to the wall with no where else to go. I can empathize with the mirror you know and maybe it empathizes with me as well, both of us have no where to go and nothing else to see other than whatever vision comes infront of us. Everytime I come here I talk to it but it never talks back, it doesn’t even reflect me back, which makes me wonder how important it is to reflect oneself time and again, how important it is to be ready to accept the consequences of one’s action and how I have pushed myself to a life in a hole with just a single source of light mocking me. There’s a fine line between living in a hole and dying and I have been dying for quite a while now. “Will you ever reflect me back or answer me?” I asked the mirror hoping that it may grow lips of its own and reply. It didn’t and never does. Maybe even in a land of wonders there’s a limit, a limit set by imagination.
“This isn’t the place I am supposed to be I won’t find Florence here, maybe she is the one who gives the answers, I need to find her” I thought to myself. “Stuck with the mirror, ehh” a voice came from behind. “I was fascinated with it for quite some while” he continued as I turned to find out that it my friend Frank. “Frank” I yelled in excitement “What are you doing here?”
“Just what everyone else does here, passing by, and yeah tell me what does the mirror shows you” he said.
“What? Passing by where? And it shows me nothing absolutely nothing” I replied.
He let a chuckle out and replied calmly “You’re not meant to be here my friend, the mirror, is the reflector of what you are and where you are when it’s all done, when you reach the finality of it all”
I knew what he meant but I was too shocked to accept it. It’s never easy to find words for these moments, you can be a poet, you can be an inspired writer but when these moments hit you they take a part of you with them. The only thing that’s confirmed since the day we step on this planet is death yet all we ever in our life is to try and evade it. I just let the tears run down my eyes and let them meet their fall with me standing still on the ground. He ran towards me to hug me and I felt it, felt the cold skin of his touching my body, only to realize why one craves for the warmth of a hug in situations like this while one lives because once we die these hugs become cold.
“You have to accept it” he said “But how come you be here? How did you reach this place?” he asked.
“I don’t think I am here, it’s a vision I have been having” I said trying to catch hold of my voice.
“You always used to have strange visions of strange places and used to write songs and poems about it, you used to called them The Songs of Life” he said “You’re probably here to write one about the end of it”
“I see nothing my friend and the way my life has been all I can do is give different words to the same old song” I replied still finding it difficult to accept it all.
“Well let me tell what I see, I see myself on the staircase of the “Deterioration of Mind Over Matter by Otto Rapp” standing clueless, lifeless and spellbound at the same time. I have no idea of what it signifies or how it’s related to the end of my life but that’s probably how the mirror works, it spellbinds you. You know what I never came to know how I died and the mirror doesn’t seem to help in that case but I think there’s something more you need to see” he said.
I was looking anxiously at him as he grabbed my arm and started walking past the mirror. I could see myself going past it part by part. There was a graveyard at the end of it. Frank was no where to be found but what I saw sucked the life out me, it was as if a giant boulder was placed atop my chest and no matter how much I tried I couldn’t move it. In front of me were 3 graves. The graves of my brother, father and my mother. I collapsed to my knees, I could feel them losing all the strength and motivation to help me stand back up. The spirit of being alive turns into ash when your loved ones die but that’s how we are meant to live.That’s how harsh the life can be but the Gods we have want us to endure it all. I understand the creator who creates and the destroyer who destroys but the one who created them both is playing a game I can’t fathom at all.I gave my thoughts a pause to realize that this might all just be a part of my vision and nothing more. I was questioning the nature of reality of it all and also the nature of my own reality. After all I might be part of someone else’s vision.