The other side

Oh the life is a puzzle

I see you in it screaming

Screaming​ for a better future

Screaming​ from the pain of past

Pain of being hurt,

By the promises that didn’t last

If you could hear my pain

You’d hear a cry for help

It’s bleak at the surface

It’s understanding shines

The moon’s hiding it’s face

But the sun never lies

Maybe it’s just my perception

I’ll let you decide

I’ll let you decide

We won’t be seeing all our Colors

If the night was all bright

From where you stand

You say you see me lie

It’s all in perception

There’s truth on the other side

Your hug could be a smother

Your​ love could be a lie

It’s always what we believe in

We’re the ones who decide

The ones who decide.

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Stings Like a Lie

We as human beings are responsible for the decisions we make. Being entitled to our own opinions and largely unique thought process, which is very impulsive at times we take decisions that later come back to haunt us. Sometimes we take a decision to lie. What makes us lie? Fear? Cowardly​ behaviour? An opportunity to avoid a conflict? The thought that the lie might save something catastrophic from turning into reality? Or something else? Sometimes it’s a combination of some of these situations. A lie is a lie only when it’s surfaces over our life as our reality. That’s when the lie stings us and sometimes even annihilate whatever feeling of well being the other person might have for us. Sometimes we all need to lie but at other times infact most of those times it can be avoided by a simple solution called belief and trust in truth, even if the truth might sting for a while but won’t spread like poison of a lie. We as human beings aren’t black or white, the situations we face aren’t black or white. It’s an ever changing gradience from white to black we all have to be in an ever varying gradience of white to black situations. 

One would happily avoid such complexity and live a simple life but the events of our life are all conjugated and thus a simple yes of today can lead to a thousand conflicts tomorrow. We generally keep this thought beside and live our lives simply but sometimes we make decisions that we ourselves can’t explain come the future. Some of these decisions are utter nonsense. I have made more than a couple of such decisions in my life, lied and hurt people. Very recently I lied to a good friend, someone I care a lot about, putting our friendship in all kinds of trouble. Not only did hiding the truth create a lot of tension that otherwise could have been avoided. I also broke your trust, which a large card and a tiara can’t fix. Just because I chose to avoid telling the truth. If you are reading, I would like you to know I am sorry, you didn’t deserve it and it won’t happen again if you forgive me.

There’s no advice here for anyone just a thought. A thought that I believe that we can avoid a lot of these situations by having a clear vision for what should be done. Easy to say difficult to imply but at times a lie is a matchstick litten, traveling towards the explosives it’s meant to meet and finally burn it all down. So maybe just try the truth instead. Because a truth might hurt but nothing stings like a lie. 

Faith and more

Seven is for the high heavens

Seven is where lie the deepest hells

Where do I be tonight?

Me and my thoughts they been lost

Robbed and sold my all and ever

Had brains but was never clever

So I lay down eyes closed, lights off

That’s when I really see real far

I like it when it’s quiet

I love to live the dark

Handling my love off an depression

The pain it offers is now an obsession

It glitters, it shines in light

When it’s this dark it leaves no impression

Glory be to God!

If it weren’t for hope I wouldn’t have made it this far

Life’s a fucking toast

A toast to faith which drives this heart.

The Change

Don’t paddle past me oh dear

I have felt your pain

Years down the road we steered

The questions remain the same

It’s the same you with more make up to smear

Maybe that’s all that has changed

Two birds in a cage they open the gates

One flies away and the other stays

They still force her away

She does find it strange

There was never a choice

Just a fate to be exchanged

Time’s a bully, wants me to be responsible

For things that don’t seem plausible

None of it belongs to my domicile

Strangely being rationale isn’t being logical

It’s just gonna be another chronicle

For things I’d be held accountable

What’s my Stance as a citizen? (Poem)

I tune into the news

A five year old got raped they said

Oh poor little girl I thought

It happened to a boy they said

Who am I to pity him?

It has happened today and it’ll happen tomorrow again

What can I do? What’s my stance as a citizen?

Saw two parents crying

For a daughter they can’t find

Police say they have been trying

Neighbors have fingers to point

It was in her character, that’s what they are implying

Who am I to pity them?

What’s my stance as a citizen?

I see a 100 may be even more

Youth turning up on the streets

Protesting for their safety and rights to be assured

Their voices when they meet

Feel strong yet premature

No lack of motive but lack of direction

Less are the answers, more are the questions

They’ll scream but not get for what they stand

Sweating in the sun they stay there, tanned

But who am I to pity them?

What’s my stance as a citizen?

Kill for honor, kill for money, kill for power and kill for hate

Abduct, rape, blackmail and humiliate through a video tape

We have no money, no power, nor strength to trade

So we take what you give and be left ashamed

Everyone once has to face their fate

We need to be a Nation not a bunch of States.

Tell me who am I to pity then?

It’s my turn find a stance as a citizen

The xx – I See You Review


I recently got into listening them and it wasn’t until the last quarter of 2016 that I heard their first two albums (xx and coexist). To begin with I would say that even though I liked these albums I wasn’t a very big fan, they just didn’t do enough for me musically and lyrically. The first two records were very spacey and moody and the thing with moody records is that sometimes the mood can feel forced if not placed and executed naturally.

Talking about I See You, the band does what a The xx fan might have expected them to do. The props and cons of both the previous albums retain on this one but still I give the band major props for trying more on this record. I find this album to be much more engaging than both “xx” and “coexist”. Even though the product, instrumentally is still minimal, but we do find some funky rhythms and pop tunes in songs like “On hold” and “I dare you”. The instrumentation used here do elevate the feel though especially the string sections. I love the vibrant use of instruments on songs like “Lips” and also “Replica”. Vocally, I would say that Romy makes a much more positive impact than Oliver ever does on this whole record. Lyrically, the band explores love, desire, pain of heartbreaks, anxiety among some other topics.

Overall, I would say this is an improvement over “coexist”. This album is much more diverse, detailed and engaging. At the same time I would also like to say that probably they could have structured the songs and the album in a better way as some of these songs do have an abrupt ending. If you have been a fan of them you’ll probably love this album and may even rate it as their best and if you’re new the xx then I would say this is a good album to start listening them if you are looking out for some moody, spacey and breathy music.

I would say this is a 7/10 album to me.

If you have given this one a  listen do tell me how you feel about it and have a great day everyone.

Cell of Will (Chapter 3) : The Mirror

It’s the mirror again, clinging to the wall with no where else to go. I can empathize with the mirror you know and maybe it empathizes with me as well, both of us have no where to go and nothing else to see other than whatever vision comes infront of us. Everytime I come here I talk to it but it never talks back, it doesn’t even reflect me back, which makes me wonder how important it is to reflect oneself time and again, how important it is to be ready to accept the consequences of one’s action and how I have pushed myself to a life in a hole with just a single source of light mocking me. There’s a fine line between living in a hole and dying and I have been dying for quite a while now. “Will you ever reflect me back or answer me?” I asked the mirror hoping that it may grow lips of its own and reply. It didn’t and never does. Maybe even in a land of wonders there’s a limit, a limit set by imagination.

“This isn’t the place I am supposed to be I won’t find Florence here, maybe she is the one who gives the answers, I need to find her” I thought to myself. “Stuck with the mirror, ehh” a voice came from behind. “I was fascinated with it for quite some while” he continued as I turned to find out that it my friend Frank. “Frank” I yelled in excitement “What are you doing here?” 

“Just what everyone else does here, passing by, and yeah tell me what does the mirror shows you” he said.

“What? Passing by where? And it shows me nothing absolutely nothing” I replied.

He let a chuckle out and replied calmly “You’re not meant to be here my friend, the mirror, is the reflector of what you are and where you are when it’s all done, when you reach the finality of it all”

I knew what he meant but I was too shocked to accept it. It’s never easy to find words for these moments, you can be a poet, you can be an inspired writer but when these moments hit you they take a part of you with them. The only thing that’s confirmed since the day we step on this planet is death yet all we ever in our life is to try and evade it. I just let the tears run down my eyes and let them meet their fall with me standing still on the ground. He ran towards me to hug me and I felt it, felt the cold skin of his touching my body, only to realize why one craves for the warmth of a hug in situations like this while one lives because once we die these hugs become cold.

“You have to accept it” he said “But how come you be here? How did you reach this place?” he asked.

“I don’t think I am here, it’s a vision I have been having” I said trying to catch hold of my voice.

“You always used to have strange visions of strange places and used to write songs and poems about it, you used to called them The Songs of Life” he said “You’re probably here to write one about the end of it”

“I see nothing my friend and the way my life has been all I can do is give different words to the same old song” I replied still finding it difficult to accept it all.

“Well let me tell what I see, I see myself on the staircase of the “Deterioration of Mind Over Matter by Otto Rapp” standing clueless, lifeless and spellbound at the same time. I have no idea of what it signifies or how it’s related to the end of my life but that’s probably how the mirror works, it spellbinds you. You know what I never came to know how I died and the mirror doesn’t seem to help in that case but I think there’s something more you need to see” he said.

I was looking anxiously at him as he grabbed my arm and started walking past the mirror. I could see myself going past it part by part. There was a graveyard at the end of it. Frank was no where to be found but what I saw sucked the life out me, it was as if a giant boulder was placed atop my chest and no matter how much I tried I couldn’t move it. In front of me were 3 graves. The graves of my brother, father and my mother. I collapsed to my knees, I could feel them losing all the strength and motivation to help me stand back up. The spirit of being alive turns into ash when your loved ones die but that’s how we are meant to live.That’s how harsh the life can be but the Gods we have want us to endure it all. I understand the creator who creates and the destroyer who destroys but the one who created them both is playing a game I can’t fathom at all.I gave my thoughts a pause to realize that this might all just be a part of my vision and nothing more. I was questioning the nature of reality of it all and also the nature of my own reality. After all I might be part of someone else’s vision.